The Monthly interviews New Zealand musician and poet, Caitlin Smith – Part 1 – Music and Poetry – one of the few things not othered

Do you have any early memories of being attracted to the arts?

My blindness informs that, because music and singing don’t have the barriers to access that other things have. I’ve been playing piano since I was 6 years old. I couldn’t do sporting activities, I found it hard to go outside because of light sensitivity, so being inside and being able to play music; that was just like breathing to me.

I was writing poetry and songs from a young age, around 11 or 12 years old. I think even early on I had found a voice, I was writing ribald and cheeky material, and I was performing at Poetry Live in the mid 80’s despite being severely under-age.

So, as early as I can remember music and poetry have been part of my life. The arts weren’t othered, or seen as something distant, or odd, either by my family or my peers.

Your sight was problematic from an early age?

It was worse than it is now. I was forced to wear glasses from the age of 1 and a half, which were suitable only for reading, they didn’t help for anything other than that. I had to self-diagnose my condition using Oliver Sacks book “The Island of the Colour-blind”…Achcromatopsia.

Nowadays it is well understood, it is well defined and can be diagnosed quite quickly, but it wasn’t when I was growing up. My vision is actually improving which is problematic for my identity, as someone who is blind, but I’m trying to focus on the positives.

You came from an academic family?

My father is a retired emeritus English professor and my mother, an English teacher, so I was steeped in that world. The y were harshly critical of my creative efforts as they believed that the canon already existed and there was no point trying to compete with the greats. They didn’t agree that there was a need for individual expression or creative activity, at least they weren’t convinced that was needed.

Did you get any support at home or at school?

My peer group provided support, but family did not. My mother was an opera singer so if it wasn’t opera she didn’t consider it ‘legitimate’. She did support me getting musical training, but my musical tastes veered towards the popular music of the time, more towards punk. At university I put creative writing and expression on the back-burner. I thought of it as different sides of the brain.

You didn’t study music at University?

I was going to study music, but I found the course too narrow, too self-focused, so I entolled in politics. I was already working for Greenpeace in Toronto, Fair-trade organisations and Forest and Bird. So, I had a more political orientation that seemed to make more sense to me.